SHORT FAT STUBBY FINGER STORIES PRESENTS:  THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

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EPISODE 96

Joseph thought hard, quick and with articulate clarity.  He knew everything must be planned and actioned in the time-frame that he had imagined in his in-brain video.  ‘This would work.’ he thought, ‘It had to.’ 

 “Gentlemen” Joseph spoke softly, loud enough for everybody in his small group to hear, but not loud enough to be heard by the proxy, “I want you to not all answer at once, therefore I don’t want any of you to speak at all.  Instead, I will ask you all a question and if your answer is yes, I want you to slowly raise your hands.  Slowly because we can’t afford to make a mistake and make a noise.  Now, the question is this.  Do any of you play darts in any form at all?” 
  The young constable’s arm was already beginning to move forward at the word, ‘play’ before he saw the look on Joseph’s face and immediately slowed down the speed at which his hand was moving, but, never-the-less, it was his outstretched arm that reached its pinnacle first.  Harvey and the sergeant were next, and also the last, to advise Joseph that they participated in the classic sport.
  Joseph popped his head up to check up on Rangor, and satisfied he was still stuck in the wall, mumbling to himself something about Joseph revealing himself, he returned to the group. “Good, now this is not an ego trip question.  I need to know if you really can do what I am about to ask you.  And you can answer by shaking your head.  Can you guarantee accuracy with both attempts?  Because that is the way it must be?  We have no fall-back plan or weapon. I ask you because I am going to get you to throw a total of six rubies straight into the creature’s mouth, one after the other.  It has to go straight into the creature’s mouth … and if you miss, we will all be dead within a second.  The three men responded, shaking their heads with so much enthusiasm, Joseph was frightened they would start coughing.  He quickly waved his hand indicating that they should shop, and backed up his request with speech.  “Okay, that is fine.  You are absolutely certain you can do it?”  The three men grinned as they shook their heads again, only this time with a much slower movement, “Alright, I will pass them down to you in a minute.  When you receive them, they will feel wet and sloppy – they are meant to.  Do not try to dry them, and do not drop them.  It is extremely necessary that as many of the rubies enter the gullet at the same time as possible for this to work quickly, so throw the next one the second you have thrown the first one.  Do not wait for another countdown, there won’t be one.  Now Harold and Chief inspector O’Reilly, I want you both to throw a cannonball at the wall at each end of the office table, Chief Inspector, aim for the left hand-side, and Harold, aim at the right.  I will count down from three quickly when it is time.  Ensure you throw the ball on ‘three’ then duck back down just in case, and ruby throwers throw the rubies as soon as you hear the bang of the balls as they hit the wall.  And for god’s sake, resist the urge to grunt as you throw – suck it in, or wear a blast.  Oh, and Serge, you are the biggest so I have the hardest throw for you.  I am giving you a cannonball, and it has to be accurate; it is imperative that you get that ball straight in the mouth of the creature when you throw it, which will be at the same time as the ruby throwers – that is, as soon as you hear the thump from the other cannonballs hitting the ball. If our timing is right, and so are my calculations, the cannonballs will attract Rangor’s attention, but the one that enters his mouth will confuse him, and I am counting on him literally staring out the wall with his mouth wide open for a second or two, which is our best chance to get the rubies into his mouth.  But we have to move quickly, it won’t take long for the creature to explode, literally.