Is it a bird?  Is it a plane?  No – it looks more like a giant flying spider straight out of Doctor Who. Actually it is a drone watching some football maneuvers by the AUSTRALIAN KANGAROOS in preparation for their upcoming match against NEW ZEALAND.

ITS RUGBY LEAGUE MEETS SPACE INVADERS IN THE YEAR 2015 showing at a Football Stadium near you, the headlines should have read.

Although this is a RUGBY LEAGUE match, I am certain that it won’t be long before all sporting teams go hi-tech. Can’t you just picture it.   The Pre-Game Meal will include the player poring over the i-Pad to get the latest advice and propaganda from the COACH while slurping up 500 soggy weetbix.   Then getting dressed in the dressing room some techno geek will issue the player with a Pre-Programmed watch which will give them instructions as to how they play.  The watch face will show them where the ball currently is, whose got it, or who is about to get it and which way it going.  Whose the player in the best position to intercept, tackle, take the play, create a diversion and so on. If the state of play is too small on the screen, with a flick of a finger a holographic image will appear before them – and they must be absolutely certain that their blue-tooth microphone/speaker is turned on so they can hear the computer/coach’s instructions.

And whatever they do,  the players are not to use their initiative because they are likely to confuse their own players as much as they confuse the opposition in regards to what they are doing.

Wait until the A.F.L. players start wearing jet propulsion packs so they can jump further.

I mentioned in a previous blog that many of today’s inventions/innovations were simply re-workings of something that had already been around for many, many years, and the latest to fit that category is the humble record player which now comes with a laser needle.

The reason for the change is that the laser has been designed to to be able to play old vinyl and bakerlite records without damaging the record by wear and tear as the old style needle would have.

The way a record player works, in normal circumstances, is to place the needle which sits inside the end of a designed arm, into the outside track of the record while the record spins  on the turntable, and the needle remains in physical contact with the record until the needle reaches the hole in the middle of the record where it will either automaticly be removed from the record by the player’s mechanisim … or it will remain there until it is manually removed.

The laser needle only makes contact with the record through a light source therefore preventing unneccesary physical damage to occur.

 Now that’s what I call one for the records.

Pretty cool innovation I reckon, but then again so is the price which comes in at around $A15,000.00.  Now that price must be a record itself.  So I guess it is a record priced, record player.

And now for the weird and wonderful world of nature.

You know, I live in a typical suburban house in the Inner City area NOT the outer country areas such as Samford or Dayboro, but you wouldn’t know it by the amount of wild life that hangs around here.

Over a week this all happens;

Day one.  I walk out to the side door.  We are on the corner of a semi-main road (rat-run road*) and a normal side street so we use our side door to enter and escape the house, but the side yard (unfenced) is not much bigger than the front yard because the property was subdivided several years so there is little room for large gardens, and yet that in itself does not hide surprises from our eyes as this week proved.

Firstly there was a mad screeching outside the house and when I went outside to investigate I had expected to find birds fighting which is the norm around here, but no … instead I came across a new cat in the neighbourhood who had obviously been on the prowl for a meal of Kentucky Fried Mynah bird, only to find himself trapped under one of our bushes as around 10 or so mynahs were abusing him verbally, and I think they may have physicaly abused him had I not appeared on the scene, and once I did the birds seemed to have decided the cat had taken enough and flew off.

As soon as the cat realised they were gone he was off like a shot.   But he wasn’t a very smart cat and he tried again the next day, and this time he become trapped on the neighbours roof and again the birds won the day.  And once again he was fortunate that he found a way to escape.  He jumped off the roof, not a bad effort because the patch of roof he was on was around 3-4 metres off the ground and then he had to scramble over a fence that was 3 metres off the ground.

But escape he did.   That was a week and a half ago and the cat has not been seen since … perhaps he got the message this this time … or perhaps the birds … .

Anyway, the day after that I was checking the letter box when I reaslised a bat had dropped its business on my letter box and not only did he drop his droppings, but I am fairly certain he did so as an attempted in-flight selfie (see photograph below).

Now we have chickens and a rooster in the neighbourhood (pets) and all three get out now and then and scrounge through everybody’s yard looking for food.   But I certainly got a surprise on the third day when out of the blue (well it was actually behind some bushes in the front yard) one of the chickens came screaming into view … and two steps behind her was the local Bush Turkey who is often seen strutting about.  The chicken ran towards the house screaming out “The sky is falling!  The sky is falling!”, or something like that.  I am not eggsactly into chicken talk.  But whatever she was saying, both her and the words came to a screeching halt when she realised she had nowhere to go.   So the chicken did what any frightened chicken would do when being persued by the local stud.   Go from fear to a fowl mood, turn around and give him what for, and never mind the language differences … he’d quickly get the message … and she did … and he did.   And boy did he back off … literally.   The turkey didn’t just walk backwards, he ran backwards then as soon as he got the chance he was headed as far away from this crazy chicken as fast as his skinny little legs would carry him.   And the chicken, well she simply gave out a loud cluck then walked with such a swagger as she headed home I began to think she was part waddling duck.

But life wasn’t meant to be any quieter in the following days and sure enough as I walked out of my front door just after 7am the following morning I couldn’t beleive my eyes when I saw a bird of an unknown species attack a Butcher bird that was doing its best to stand upright on my letter box.  Now there are two thing that I need to explain first before telling you what came next.

Firstly there has been a mass envirmental problem in parts of the northside of Brisbane where freak weather conditions earlier in the year crated a mini early spring which resulted in the arrival of caterpillars on Poinciana trees in the thousands, a phenomena that covered several miles of the northen suburbs that ran in a virtual straight line between Wooloowin and Hamilton.

The caterpillars stripped the trees bare then most of them simply dropped off the trees and died wihin 24 hours as they lay on the ground.   Though some cocoons were left behind on the now bare trees as if in a gruesome reminder to the stangeness of nature.   The City Council advised that a similar event had occurred around 12 years earlier and, although rare, it was not an unusual event.    The strange thing about the caterpillars was that while food was in abundance, most of the birds in the area ignored the event and the caterpillars were left alone.   But after most of them had died (the caterpillars that is) the birds came back.

And that leads me to the other aspect of what I am about to tell you.  My letter box is an el cheapo tin thing built in a style where the lid is in the shape on an upside down letter U and this makes it extremely hard for birds to rest on, especially birds the size of the butcher bird who was gingerly balancing on it when I first saw him from my position on the landing which is around 14 steps above ground level.

But it wasn’t the balancing act that attracted my attention, it was more to do with the fact that he was trying to pull something out of the Jacaranda vine that snaked its way from its roots in the ground on the far side of the letter box up and across the trellis on the other side of the letter box.   Actually it was more to do with his trying to pull something out of the Jacaranda vine while balancing predariously on top of a letter box while being attacked by a bird of another breed around the same size as him.

The second bird had flown from the ground to the other side of my driveway, a distance of around fifty feet, gained altitude then swooped back across the drive way and straight down at the Butcher bird knocking him clean off the letterbox before assuming his place on the letterbox and immediatly attempting to withdraw whatever it had been that the Butcher bird had been trying to extract.   But that didn’t last long becasue the Butcher bird, and I am fair dinkum here, the Butcher bird jumped upwards and began flapping his wings once he was in the air.  honestly, he flew straight upwards and knocked the other bird for six.   I’ll swear he used his bent elbow to actually shove him.

Now while all this was going on and the first two birds were eye balling each other, one upwards, one downwards, a third species who had been observing the goings on suddenly swooped down on the Butcher bird and knocked him clean off the letter box again and the new bird assumed the right to be on the letter box.   But this didn’t last too long and before you knew it it was a free for all.   Birds coming and going in all directions, feathers flying, birds squaking and general pandemonium..  Then before you knew it it was all over.  The Butcher bird assumed himself to be the winner, flew back onto the letterbox, settled himself in position and resumed his activity while the other two birds watched on.  The Butcher bird had all but retrieved the object of his desire when the second bird attacked again and this time the Butcher bird admitted defeat and sulked off while the other bird completed the task.  The other two birds watched on and it was clear their eyes were full of malice, but they restrained themselves, eventually flying off as the winner scoffed down his prize.

And what had they all been fighting about?  Would you believe they each wanted the only caterpillar that existed in the entire vine, when they had ignored the appearance of so many caterpillars in the tree above their heads for days on end.    They wouldn’t have needed to eat for a month if they had dined on them the day before when they all fell off the tree.   So much for nature and the intelligence it is supposed to supply .

And finally there were the Kookaburras.  There were around 6 or 7 of them all shifting between trees over two streets and this was more than I had ever seen in one bunch.  Usually you saw just one by itself or occasionaly there would be three, but never have I had the pleasure of seeing so many together … and in a suburban street even.

But they weren’t there to give me the pleasure of seeing them.   It seemed to be more of a territorial thing. because they spent the 5 0r 6 minutes I could afford to spare to watch them in battle with some crows.   I am uncertain who was winning the battle, but the Kookaburras seemed to think it was them judging  the way that 3 of them would do battle in the trees across the road from where I live, then fly over to the power pole two doors down where they would perch themselves on the post or the wires that passed through the pole then break into uproarias laughter.

They would all lift their heads back into air then bend them back as far as they could before letting go with the loudest laughter I have ever heard from these birds.  In fact, it was so loud I couldn’t help thinking it was bunged on.  And naturally the first couple of times this happened I couln’t help but smile, by the third time I found myself joining in.  The more they repeated the sequuence the more I laughed and became worried that anybody watching me would think I was a kooky as the kookaburras.

And it wasn’t just the first three birds that arrived on the pole that were laughing.  After around thirty seconds they would fly to the trees in the next step and as they were flying one way, three or four Kookaburras would fly out of the trees and take their place on the poles.

Well, the animals and birds around this neighbourhood may be a tad noisy, but they certainly are entertaining to watch.

POLY TICKINS TIME:

I have always believed that the Australian poli-tikens are not real people,  just party clones so they will all toe the party line to a man, or is that party clowns?  I’m never too sure.   Anyway Bill Shorten, the current opposition leader feels the same way as I do.  Well he must if his comment on the telly the other night was any indication.  When referring to the goverment’s top two cabinet members he said, quote:  “Tony Abbott (prime minister) and Joe Hockey (treasurer) did (something or other) –  then finished his sentence with – who does he think he is?”   Boy, talk about split personalities.

Another poli-tik story.  One Australian State Premier has just stood down his Small Buisness Minister.  See, I told you size matters.

LAST NOTE BEFORE I GO! GO!:  Don’t forget the big fellas arive in town in a few weeks. JURRASIC WORLD is on its way and its reputed to be good.  Actually, talking about remakes POLTERGEIST 2015 version is also on its way.  As if the budget wasn’t enough to scare the pants off you.

The next two blogs, in order, will be EPISODE 7 of THE NIGHT OF THE DARKNESS, and it will be followed with blog dedicted to my web site.

See you all

Tony S